Boundary Lessons According to Your Energy Type in Human Design
Just in time for the holidays
The holidays are a good time to tighten up on boundaries. Whether you’re spending time with family, chosen family or attending a work party, the stress of the season can turn the best of us into boundary busters—whether we’re letting our own boundaries slip or stepping on other people’s.
Each of the energy types in Human Design has a particular lesson to learn when it comes to boundaries. Your energy type is all about how you exchange energy with the world in a way that’s correct for you. Doing otherwise can lead to burnout, overwhelm, over-giving and people-pleasing—all which can be traced back to wonky boundaries.
Generators and Manifesting Generators: over-giving
Over-give much? If you’re a Generator or Manifesting Generator, you’re probably nodding your head yesss. This is because you have such bountiful, helpful energy that your attitude can be: If I can do it, why not? Here’s why not. When you give your time or energy to something that you’re not a “hell yes” to, you drain your life force energy. In this context for Generators and Manifesting Generators, when you’re saying yes to anything that doesn’t “spark joy” it’s over-giving.
Yes, you have a lot of energy because of your defined sacral center. But it’s not an infinite resource. It’s meant to be used as a compass to light your path, not to be used indiscriminately by all your loved ones. If you don’t watch your yeses, you’ll end up cooking the whole Christmas dinner and washing the dishes afterwards.
For you to stay on course with your soul’s purpose as a generator energy type, it’s important to follow your gut response. When your body recoils at the thought of going over to that person’s holiday party, say no. When your whole being lights up like a Christmas tree at the opportunity of taking the kids to see Santa Claus, fire up the minivan!
As a Generator or Manifesting Generator, your giving spirit is infectious but be sure it’s lighting you up too, not just those around you.
Projectors: offering unsolicited advice
If you’re a Projector, you can probably see a better way to carve the turkey than your brother-in-law or have great advice for your sister’s dating woes. But hold your tongue! Projectors have valuable perspective to offer but the value is only appreciated—and advice taken—when it’s invited in first.
Wait until someone asks for your advice or your opinion before offering it. While you may be chomping at the bit to share what you see, your energy type’s strategy to “wait for the invitation” is actually to preserve and protect your energy. As a Projector, you don’t have that bountiful energy that the generator energy types do, which makes you prone to burnout. Giving unsolicited advice is just a waste of your precious energy.
So this holiday season take lots of naps and wait for those invitations to share your “gifts.” Also, not everyone is going to recognize the gift of your seeing, so don’t push yourself on family members who will never see you. Although this can be painful, it’s a great opportunity to consider whom you do feel recognized and valued by and spend some quality time with them.
Manifestors: people-pleasing
While the holidays aren’t the most opportune time to do as you please, it’s important if you’re a Manifestor energy type to remember that you are meant to follow your urges and impulses, and not ask others for permission in doing so. While it may ruffle some feathers to not go to your in-laws this Hanukkah because you want to spend the holiday on a tropical island, just do it.
Though it’s vital to keep your loved ones in the loop of what you’re doing, appeasing them majorly dims your light. You are here to be powerful but not here to be liked by everyone. People-pleasing (aka trying to be liked by everyone) just isn’t going to work for you if you want to step into your power.
As trailblazers, Manifestors need to take on more of a “my way or the highway” attitude. This may leave people behind who don’t want to get on your bandwagon or approve of it. Accepting that you’re not for everyone will bring you peace. And so will informing your loved ones of what you’re doing so they don’t feel ghosted when you take off for your island vacation.
Reflectors: over-responsibility for other people’s energy
If you’re a Reflector energy type, you probably already know how sensitive you are to other people’s energy. You probably have a whole bunch of labels for yourself like HSP, empath, etc. What you may not know is that you’re designed to be this way. And it’s not a curse, it’s a gift.
The key to not taking on everyone’s feelings and stress this holiday season is to remember that you are here to reflect like a mirror—and not absorb like a sponge—other people’s energy. Sometimes this will involve leaving the room, the holiday party or a conversation.
While you may feel someone else’s energy strongly, it’s not yours and you’re not responsible for it. You can offer or “reflect” what you’re seeing but only do so if you’re invited. Otherwise protect your energy and politely excuse yourself. If either response triggers the other person, remember you’re also not responsible for their reactivity or projections.
As a Reflector, it’s vital to your health and your life’s trajectory to not spend too much time in spaces and around people that don’t feel good to you. Give yourself permission to disconnect from those places and people that overwhelm you, or don’t feel nourishing, and give yourself that physical boundary of alone time whenever you need it this holiday season.
Good boundaries don’t happen overnight or in a vacuum. While the holidays can be triggering, it’s a great opportunity to experiment with your Human Design and see if following your energy type helps your boundaries stick.
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