Boundary Lessons According to Your Human Design Type
Just in time for the holidays
The holidays are a good time to tighten up on boundaries. Whether you’re spending time with family, chosen family, or attending a work party, the stress of the season can turn the best of us into boundary busters—whether we’re letting our own boundaries slip or stepping on someone else’s.
Your type in Human Design tells you how you best exchange energy with others. Not living your type—or using your energy correctly—can lead to burnout and overwhelm. All of which can be traced back to wonky boundaries.
Each type in Human Design has a particular lesson to learn when it comes to boundaries. Here they are.
Generators and Manifesting Generators
Boundary lesson: over-giving
Over-give much? If you’re a Generator or Manifesting Generator, you’re probably nodding your head yesss. This is because you have such bountiful, helpful energy that your attitude can be: If I can do it, why not? Here’s why not. When you give your time or energy to something or someone that’s not a “hell yes”, you drain your life force energy. For Generators and Manifesting Generators, when you’re saying yes to anything that doesn’t spark joy or satisfaction, it’s over-giving.
Generators and Manifesting Generators have a lot of energy because of their defined sacral center. But it’s not an infinite resource. It’s not to be used indiscriminately by all your loved ones. For you to stay aligned and energized as a generator type, it’s important to listen to the yeses and nos of your gut response (a visceral feeling in your body).
When your body recoils at the thought of going over to that person’s holiday party, say no. When your whole being lights up like a Christmas tree at the opportunity of taking the kids to see Santa Claus, fire up the minivan! When you ignore this internal compass of your gut response, you’ll end up cooking the whole Christmas dinner and washing the dishes afterwards.
As a Generator or Manifesting Generator, your giving spirit is infectious, but be sure it’s lighting you up too, not just those around you.
Projectors
Boundary lesson: offering unsolicited advice
If you’re a Projector, you can probably see a better way to carve the turkey than your brother-in-law or have great advice for your sister’s dating woes. But hold your tongue! Projectors have valuable perspective to offer, but the value is only appreciated (and advice taken) when it’s invited in first.
Wait until someone asks for your advice or your opinion before offering it. While you may be chomping at the bit to share what you see, your energy type’s strategy to “wait for the invitation” is actually to preserve and protect your energy. As a Projector, you don’t have that bountiful energy that the generator types do, which makes you prone to burnout. Giving unsolicited advice is just a waste of your precious energy.
So this holiday season, take lots of naps and wait for those invitations to share the gift of your perspective. Not everyone is going to recognize the gift of your seeing, so don’t push yourself on family members who will never see you. Although this can be painful, it’s a great opportunity to consider who you do feel recognized and valued by and spend quality time with them.
Manifestors
Boundary lesson: people-pleasing
While the holidays aren’t the most opportune time to do as you please, it’s important if you’re a Manifestor type to remember that you’re meant to follow your urges and impulses, and not ask others for permission in doing so. While it may ruffle some feathers to not go to your in-laws this Hanukkah because you want to spend the holiday on a tropical island, just do it.
Though it’s vital to keep your loved ones in the loop of what you’re doing, appeasing them majorly dims your light. You are here to be powerful but not here to be liked by everyone. People-pleasing (aka trying to be liked by everyone) just isn’t going to work for you if you want to step into your power.
As trailblazers, Manifestors need to take more of a my-way-or-the-highway attitude. This may leave people behind who don’t want to get on your bandwagon or approve of it. Accepting that you’re not for everyone will bring you peace. And so will informing your loved ones of what you’re doing, so they don’t feel ghosted when you take off for your island vacay.
Reflectors
Boundary lesson: over-identifying with other people’s stuff
If you’re a Reflector type, you probably already know how sensitive you are to other people’s energy. You probably have a whole bunch of labels for yourself: HSP, empath, etc. What you may not know is that you’re designed to be this way. And it’s a gift.
The key to not mistaking other people’s feelings or stress as your own is to remember that you are here to reflect like a mirror—and not absorb like a sponge—other people’s energy. Instead of over-identifying with their stuff, you can offer or “reflect” what you’re seeing, but only do so if you’re invited. Sometimes your reflections can trigger the other person, but remember you’re not responsible for their reactivity or projections.
While you may feel someone else’s energy strongly, it’s not yours and you can always leave the room, the holiday party, or a conversation if it’s not feeling good.
As a Reflector, it’s vital to your health and your life’s trajectory not to spend too much time in spaces and around people that don’t feel good. Give yourself permission to disconnect from places and people that overwhelm you or don’t feel nourishing, and establish a physical boundary of alone time whenever you need it this holiday season.
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Good boundaries don’t happen overnight or in a vacuum. While the holidays can be triggering, they also present a great opportunity to experiment with your Human Design and see if living your type helps you have better boundaries.
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To learn more about your unique Human Design, book a 1:1 session with me. I help people make better love, career, and life decisions for themselves.